Relax.Enjoy.Create

Hot tub time machine. Tonight. Takes me downstream (no more going upstream to work out old karma, unless I want to paddle against the current). So, I go with the flow. Toward a beautiful waterfall. (I’ve had this lucid dream before. The first time I had enough faith to go over the edge, was quite an adventure. But now it’s easier. No more clinging to the rocks at the top, in fear.) When I land in the gorgeous pool at the bottom of the falls I notice more souls than ever before are there. (It is so lovely you all could join me.) It is peaceful, yet exciting. And the pool has seemed to expand to contain so many of us, without feeling crowded. AHHH. Well, back to the message….

I ask, What have you got for me tonight?  I hear it LOUD. Repeated. “Relax, Enjoy, Create”…”Relax, Enjoy, Create”…”Relax, Enjoy, Create”.  Then, “R.E.-create”… “recreate”…”recreation”…”RE-creation”… “Get it?”  Yeah I get it.

Now let me explain so that you can “get it too”. My thoughts the last few days have been on setting my new moon intentions for November. I scanned through my journal from the last few months and a word jumped out at me. “Productive”.  As in, “I wasn’t very productive today” or “I really accomplished a lot. It felt good to be productive”.  But a month ago I made a major life shift for myself, on purpose. And it is giving me an opportunity to take a new look at what it means for me to be “productive”. So, that is what I am setting as my intention. Re-define what it means to be productive. (Does floating

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My new studio

in a hot tub, talking to the stars counts as “productive”. Well, yes I think so. I just need to get used to thinking of it that way!)

I moved my art studio/gallery out of a public location (the last 13 years) into the privacy of my home. I moved from a 800 square foot space to a 7 ft. x 12 ft. space. Yet It feels more expansive as I can look out continuous windows on three sides from a second floor space. I call it my treehouse. I am adjusting. I am settling in and getting ready to get “productive” again, but in a new way.

So, today I also “played” in my new studio space in a way that was relaxing, enjoyable and creative.  I salvaged a pile of old cashmere sweaters that I had washed, and cut apart. By stitching them together, I RE-created a new “up-cycled” cashmere afghan, throw blanket. This is a technique I have used a lot in the past. But, it has been awhile (because of the studio move) since I’ve had time to enjoy creating and have fun. Soon I plan to get several of these cashmere blankets posted to my Etsy Shop. They would make a lovely holiday gift for someone. Something to snuggle up in and Relax, and Enjoy! Something a Stitch In Time Saved!

 

 

Susanna, The Elders and Our Times

In my journal in early August 2016 I wrote: “look up the Story of Susanna in the Bible, the Book of Daniel”.  I believe that each Full Moon is brings to Light for each of us new lessons from our Shadows. But we must listen and pay attention. I think this current Full Moon is bringing clarity and allowing me to harvest the reasons I was drawn to this story just a couple of months ago in the darkness of the early August New Moon.

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Susanna and the Elders, Artemisia Gentileschi, 1610.

As an artist I initially was drawn to some very interesting information about the work of art (shown above) created in 1610 by a female artist, Artemisia Gentileschi who created at age seventeen this painting of Susanna in the Garden. Interesting that this painting was at times attributed to her father and was created after her painting instructor was taken to trial for raping her as a teenager. (So, when did our “rape culture” begin???)  (More about the artist and her work HERE)

Then I dove into the biblical story, which is a story that I do not recall learning as a youth in my Presbyterian Sunday School classes.  I’m not sure if it was because the story of a woman being unjustly accused of adultery was not “age appropriate” subject matter.  Or perhaps it was not included in the version of the Bible endorsed by “our” church at that time. (Evaluating the credibility and choosing which stories to include, which lessons to learn on a collective basis is an interesting aspect of all religions).  I believe all the biblical stories (and in the case of the Susanna story the Jews recognize it as a moral tale, not part of the Tanakh)  have some lessons to teach even though I have because of personal choice, moved away from my Christian roots to an inclusive viewpoint that embraces the beliefs and divine nature of ALL.

So back in early August of this year I was called to read the book of Daniel.  I found it fascinating as I saw Daniel as a Book of “dream interpretation” and the first book on the Bible that the Angel Gabriel appears in.  The following is my short version of the tale of Susanna and the Elders, from the Book of Daniel. (For a longer version that I like, go HERE)

Susanna was a beautiful and deeply religious woman married to a very wealthy man, Joakim and daughter to Hilkiah.  (Interesting that still to this day women are feeling defined as wives, daughters and not by their individual autonomy. Some things never change? Or has the time finally arrived for this to change???) They had lovely gardens that Susanna chose to walk in each day. There were two judges who held court at the residence of Joakim who lusted after the beautiful Susanna.  One day they followed her to the garden where she decided to take a bath.  She requested her servants lock the gate so that she could be alone, unaware that the two judges were hiding and watching her. When the servants left the judges forced themselves upon her to have sex. They told her that if she didn’t comply they would take her to court for adultery saying that they saw her alone with a young man. She chose not to comply and began screaming; when her servants heard her they came running.  The men told their side of the story and Susanna was taken to court the next day.

Now, this is where I love the way the story twists back for me (and one of the reasons I believe my Guides directed me to read it).  The judges are caught in a lie because young Daniel yelled out in opposition to the charges against Susanna. He would not be a party to her death without proof of her guilt. He directed the court to separate the two judges and question them individually.  So, they did and because of a discrepancy in their individual testimonies regarding the type of “tree” the lovers were standing under as they committed their crime, the judges were caught in their lie. (I have a history of believing that the trees hold our stories and our truths.  So, this part of the story truly resonates with me.) The story indicates that Daniel was in touch with his inner divine guidance and was not willing to be complacent in her execution. He was brave enough to speak up and change the course of the narrative. (I too, believe in Divine Inner Guidance and Guidance from Above; sources outside ourselves, who we must call on to assist us).

During this 2016 Presidential Election Cycle we have been inundated with stories, lies and “he said, she said” tales. Like Daniel, I would like to shine a light on getting to the little truths and the big TRUTH. There is a part of me that wants to doubt I was given the wisdom or bravery of Daniel. But another part that Knows we all are/were.  As Daniel questioned in the trial of Susanna:  “People of Israel, how foolish can you be? Are you going to condemn an Israelite woman to death on this kind of evidence? You haven’t even tried to find out the truth.” I believe this tale teaches us that we must continue to seek to find the truth.  But, how do we “catch” the powerful and elite in their lies?  First we listen to our heavenly guides as they try to reach us though our inner knowing. Stop, listen to your gut. What feels “right”? Then we can turn to our own dreams and interpret them as Daniel did. I believe we will eventually be led to the truth and the TRUTH. It is divine. And We Are All Divine (made in the likeness of God). So we cannot be forever fooled or kept away from our Knowing of our (collective) Self. Here is my latest dream and my interpretation.

I was going to a school, a “college”, and I was “under review”.  Apparently it was getting to the end of the term and I had chosen not to attend or do the work for several of my classes.  But I had done amazing work in one class.  I had chosen to focus all of my time and energy on just one “sculpture” and it had turned out very impressive to my instructors.  So, the teachers and administrators of the school where trying to decide if I should “pass” or not based upon this one “work”. 

I was nearby listening to them mull over my situation.  Many of them were in support of passing me to the next level. But, the feeling I had from within was that I needed to do all of the required lessons.  I could not just pick and choose what interested me, what I was good at, what class and lessons were convenient and easy to attend either because of location or schedule.  And just because I had excelled in one course at the school it did not fulfill the reason I had come to the school in the first place….to learn all of the lessons. And this Knowing came from within me. My teachers and advisors were defending me. They felt I had “done enough”. But as I overheard them I knew from within I needed to do more. That I could do more. And so I spoke up and requested they hold me back until I fulfilled all of the requirements to move up to the next level. I requested that I be held back.

And here is how I relate this dream to my life: I do not get to skip over the uncomfortable lessons, like the current election and associated stories coming to light regarding the candidates. Do I avoid the media and their non-stop barrage of propaganda? Well, perhaps it is healthy to minimize it. But, when it does present itself I can go to my gut and listen for what feels true. And I can observe the sources of information like the candidates themselves and their accusers and pay attention to how it makes me feel. I can “consider the source”. I will remember everything starts from within. Every lesson is learned there, that is where the “assignments” for the lessons must be started and completed. I will BEDo I look outside myself, wring my hands and say “oh, there is nothing I can do”?  No, I must start by doing what feels right and true for me.  All of the lessons must be done, not just the easy or comfortable ones.  I will DOAnd here is probably my hardest lesson:  Do I cast judgement on those who may not agree with what I believe and feel within myself? No, that is not my “job”. I can ask my guides to give me clear messages and guide my lessons. But, how am I to know the lessons others are put in this earth school to learn? How am I to judge how they see things from their perspective?  I will honor others in their Being and DoingI will hold faith that the Truths and the TRUTH will come to Light for ALL OF US. And maybe this Full Moon will help us all harvest a bit more clarity on our current affairs and assist us in learning our collective lessons.

I think we have all heard much talk recently about the “rape culture” that we condone and live in as a society, nation and world. But, as this story from Biblical times proves, and the associated story regarding the artwork created in 1610, the rape culture has been in existence for many lifetimes. Maybe, we can hope, we are at the cusp of true awareness and change. Maybe, another full moon cycle will not be necessary for the world to wake up to what it has been foolish enough to be “duped” by. Like the story of Susanna, maybe we can get past defining women by their associations to the men in their lives. Maybe we can continue to question the powerful men who because of their positions in society are assumed innocent, rather than the women who are assumed to be guilty or at least somehow to blame. So let’s keep in mind that this story is not only about the brave young man who listens to his divine guidance and acts upon it, but also about a brave woman who knowing she is caught in a double bind (be raped or be sentenced to death) is still willing to place her outcome in her Faith in something outside of herself. She is still willing to follow the guidance she is hearing from within, knowing it could cast shame on herself and her family and lead to her own certain death.

If change is to come, women must strive like Susanna to find our inner animus, our masculine energy; and like Daniel, men must embrace their inner anima, or female. I believe this is how we heal our never ending “rape culture”. Through balance we correct the imbalance. Through inner healing we re-align the Whole. Is the story of our current election a moral tale? Perhaps. Do I know the truth and the “moral of the story”? No. And maybe I never will. But I will listen to my Guidance, inner knowing and my “gut” and I will pay attention to the messages in my dreams like Daniel. I will act from my animus when I feel called to action (like writing and sharing this post) That is what I can DO that is who I AM. That is the balance I can strive to maintain. That is the Story that the Light of this Full Moon is shining on and harvesting for me.

Authors Note:  I do not profess to be a Biblical Scholar, or have complete knowledge or understanding of the Bible or any religious texts.  I ponder, share and witness the stories and information that my Guides and Angels call me to.  I share my interpretations as they relate to the current times we are experiencing as a “Collective” and as they pertain to my life from a personal perspective.  I share these insights in hopes that others can relate and find meaning for their own lives and as an attempt to heal and resolve my own stories, and those of others.  I welcome the thoughts and insights of others in the comments section below. I am open to learning more and witnessing the perspectives of others. 

Some of my additional sources and inspiration for this post:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Susanna_(Book_of_Daniel)
https://www.bible.com/bible/416/sus.1
http://christianityinview.com/books/susanna.html

http://www.catholic.org/bible/book.php?id=34&bible_chapter=13
http://jwa.org/encyclopedia/article/susanna-apocrypha


A Piece of American Pie

To say I am frustrated and perplexed by the current election cycle would be an understatement. Although I know I’m not alone in my feelings, due to the divisiveness I don’t want to get into politics here.  What I want to get into is how to not get caught up in this chaos and lose ourselves.  And yet, I struggle to find the way to do this myself.  I write this as I attempt to step away from my social media sites and stop reading the latest breaking news reports.  For my peace of mind I must.

So, today I balanced my day off time by doing things to care and nurture myself and my family.  I changed my sheets! (I love fresh sheets on the bed) I took an afternoon nap.  And I baked a pie.  It is my annual Green Tomato Apple Pie.  It is my version of “A Stitch in Time Saves” when it comes to food.  Yes, at the end of the growing season I always have a lot of tomatoes on the the vine that just didn’t have time to ripen.  As you know I hate to let anything go to waste, so I get them (before the squirrels do) and make this sweet/tart pie.  So yummy, warm with just a dab of vanilla ice cream melting on the top!  The recipe is from one of my favorite cookbooks, Hollyhocks & Radishes: Mrs. Chard’s Almanac Cookbook by Bonnie Stewart Mickelson.

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So if the 2016 election has your head spinning, your heart racing and your stomach churning too, please step back and find a way to soothe yourself and those you love.  Don’t buy into the propaganda.  Don’t get caught up in the latest hype or poll numbers.  Don’t let anybody try to scare you (the only thing to fear is the fear mongers).  I want to believe that we still have more things that unite us than issues that divide us.  I believe AMERICA IS already GREAT (we have pie!)  Now I think I’m almost ready for the Presidential Debate (I can hope they will act just a bit presidential, can’t I?)  starting in a few minutes.  And if it gets rough, at least I can soothe myself with another piece of pie!

Post Debate Edit:  This song came to mind as the second 2016 presidential debate came to an end. (Maybe Don McLean was a time traveler trying to warn us of this election?!)

“American Pie”
Don McLean

A long, long time ago
I can still remember how that music used to make me smile
And I knew if I had my chance
That I could make those people dance
And maybe they’d be happy for a while

But February made me shiver
With every paper I’d deliver
Bad news on the doorstep
I couldn’t take one more step
I can’t remember if I cried
When I read about his widowed bride
But something touched me deep inside
The day the music died

So bye, bye, Miss American Pie
Drove my Chevy to the levee but the levee was dry
And them good ole boys were drinking whiskey ‘n rye
Singin’ this’ll be the day that I die
This’ll be the day that I die

Did you write the book of love
And do you have faith in God above
If the Bible tells you so?
Now do you believe in rock and roll?
Can music save your mortal soul?
And can you teach me how to dance real slow?

Well, I know that you’re in love with him
‘Cause I saw you dancin’ in the gym
You both kicked off your shoes
Man, I dig those rhythm and blues

I was a lonely teenage broncin’ buck
With a pink carnation and a pickup truck
But I knew I was out of luck
The day the music died

I started singing bye, bye, Miss American Pie
Drove my Chevy to the levee but the levee was dry
Them good ole boys were drinking whiskey ‘n rye
Singin’ this’ll be the day that I die
This’ll be the day that I die

Now for ten years we’ve been on our own
And moss grows fat on a rollin’ stone
But that’s not how it used to be
When the jester sang for the king and queen
In a coat he borrowed from James Dean
And a voice that came from you and me

Oh, and while the king was looking down
The jester stole his thorny crown
The courtroom was adjourned
No verdict was returned

And while Lenin read a book on Marx
The quartet practiced in the park
And we sang dirges in the dark
The day the music died

We were singing bye, bye, Miss American Pie
Drove my Chevy to the levee but the levee was dry
Them good ole boys were drinking whiskey ‘n rye
Singin’ this’ll be the day that I die
This’ll be the day that I die

Helter skelter in a summer swelter
The birds flew off with a fallout shelter
Eight miles high and falling fast
It landed foul on the grass
The players tried for a forward pass
With the jester on the sidelines in a cast

Now the halftime air was sweet perfume
While the sergeants played a marching tune
We all got up to dance
Oh, but we never got the chance

‘Cause the players tried to take the field
The marching band refused to yield
Do you recall what was revealed
The day the music died?

We started singing bye, bye, Miss American Pie
Drove my Chevy to the levee but the levee was dry
Them good ole boys were drinking whiskey ‘n rye
And singin’ this’ll be the day that I die
This’ll be the day that I die

Oh, and there we were all in one place
A generation lost in space
With no time left to start again
So come on, Jack be nimble, Jack be quick
Jack Flash sat on a candlestick
‘Cause fire is the devil’s only friend

Oh, and as I watched him on the stage
My hands were clenched in fists of rage
No angel born in Hell
Could break that Satan’s spell

And as the flames climbed high into the night
To light the sacrificial rite
I saw Satan laughing with delight
The day the music died

He was singing bye, bye, Miss American Pie
Drove my Chevy to the levee but the levee was dry
Them good ole boys were drinking whiskey ‘n rye
And singin’ this’ll be the day that I die
This’ll be the day that I die

I met a girl who sang the blues
And I asked her for some happy news
But she just smiled and turned away
I went down to the sacred store
Where I’d heard the music years before
But the man there said the music wouldn’t play

And in the streets, the children screamed
The lovers cried and the poets dreamed
But not a word was spoken
The church bells all were broken

And the three men I admire most
The Father, Son and the Holy Ghost
They caught the last train for the coast
The day the music died

And they were singing bye, bye, Miss American Pie
Drove my Chevy to the levee but the levee was dry
And them good ole boys were drinking whiskey ‘n rye
Singin’ this’ll be the day that I die
This’ll be the day that I die

They were singing bye, bye, Miss American Pie
Drove my Chevy to the levee but the levee was dry
Them good ole boys were drinking whiskey ‘n rye
And singin’ this’ll be the day that I die.

We Are All The Chosen One

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The Moon outside my window~

It didn’t take long for the message to come tonight.  I stepped my toes into the “Hot Tub Time Machine” with my heart filled with love and gratitude for all my family, friends, guides, supporters, students and well any-one who has helped me get to this point in my life.  I feel like I have been running a marathon the last several weeks and I’ve made it to not so much of a finish line, but to a transition line.  Deep exhale~

But, I digress, back to the message:  Well, I said my prayers of thanks to the heavens as my body sunk into the warm waters.  Tonight is the Harvest Full Moon and as suggested by this forecast, I decided I should follow the advise of #6 and channel my “inner mermaid”.  I felt so filled with thanks that I had this thought that “I am the chosen One”.  There can be no other explanation as to why everything has fallen into place so synchronistically the last few weeks.  I’ve experienced things like the rain stopping or holding off until just the second I get the tent up for camping, or the car unloaded.  Time even seemed to stop in order for my daughter and me to get the U-Haul unloaded and back by closing time for her move into a new apartment a couple of weeks ago.  There has been so much to do.  And yet, it has all gotten done.  And with relative ease.  I must be “special” if the clouds are parting and time is stopping for me.  Right?

Ha ha, my Guides laugh.  Yes, and no.  The truth is “you are all the chosen One”.  Some just realize it sooner than others.  Others use their “free will” to delay the awareness of it.  Well, I don’t think I am at the arrowhead on this realization.  But, I am not on the tail end either.  I hope you hear this message too and join me in gratitude for being “chosen”.  There are greater things in store for all of us.  Tonight’s Pisces Full Moon and Lunar Eclipse Hold The Key To Letting Go & Moving On.  Join me in letting go, filled with gratitude for what has brought us to this Now.  Join me in Celebration.  Join me in Moving ON~~~It is Time we all realize that WE are ALL the Chosen ONE!

One additional note:  This full moon completes a cycle that started on March 8, 2016  with a solar eclipse.  This is where I was then:  Clearing my Mesa and Activating Something New.  Yes, the NEW is finally HERE!

 

A Void Dance or Avoidance?

Here it is the end of summer.  Labor Day here in the United States.  As I reflect back over the last 3 months I can say I spent a lot of time in both avoidance and a Void Dance.  I believe it is ok to spend time in either, the important thing is to know which place you are in.

Avoidance:  The act of avoiding something.

A Void Dance:  Time spent in the quiet space between the “stuff” of life.

I have recently decided to relocate my business and my art studio after many years in the same location.  It means sorting, clearing, organizing and packing the “stuff” of my life.  I have spent much of the time between other work obligations this summer doing just that.  Sorting.  Cleaning.  Organizing.  Packing.   At times I’ve been doing it to avoid doing other things I’d rather not be doing and sometimes I am doing other things just to avoid doing the difficult work of deciding what to “do” with the stuff.   But either way, it’s been a therapeutic process.

As an artist you learn to appreciate the voids or negative space.  It’s not always the matter that matters.  (a good thing to remind myself of, as I purge and de-clutter)

20160903_202301The voids are where the fertile earth feeds the roots.  The voids are where the flames lick and spit between the burning logs.  The voids are where the oxygen is.  The voids are what make the beauty of the antique lace.  The voids are what lets the soft breeze come through the screen door.  The voids are the blue sky between the clouds.  The voids are where the damp sand squeezes up between your toes on the beach.  The voids are where you run your fingers through soft hair.  The voids are where the sun peaks through the branches of the tree canopy.  And the voids are where and when we dance.  

I hope as you enjoy your last days of this summer you find time to Dance in the Void.  It is this space and time between the stuff of life that is important.  It is different than avoidance.   It is this fertile space that feeds our creativity and our souls.  It feeds what matters.

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“A Void Dance” artwork by Pamela Penney (c) 2015

 

 

 

Lucky

Now were do I start?  Where I left off?

I left off trying to comfort my ailing dog.  I hung on with her a bit longer. But we took our last walk together on August 20th.  She was trying to hold on, but that morning I knew it was time to make my most difficult decision.  On the car ride to the vet. the Ed Sheeran “Photograph” song played.  I again believe Lucky chose to communicate through the synchronicity of the radio:

Loving can heal
Loving can mend your soul
And it’s the only thing that I know
I swear it will get easier
Remember that with every piece of ya
And it’s the only thing we take with us when we die

We keep this love in this photograph
We made these memories for ourselves
Where our eyes are never closing
Our hearts were never broken
Times forever frozen still

So you can keep me
Inside the pocket
Of your ripped jeans
Holdin’ me closer
‘Til our eyes meet
You won’t ever be alone….

She was absolutely the best and it really hurts to have lost her, but a part of her will always remain with our family.  When we returned from the veterinarian’s there was a feather laying in the spot outside the garage door where Lucky always waited for me.  She earned her “wings” and I know she is always and forever with me….

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This week I am camping in Minnesota with my daughter, helping her move into a new apartment and spending some quality mom/adult daughter time.  I wish I had my Lucky with me again.  She loved camping, hiking and generally being wherever the family was.  This is her on a family camping trip in her “prime” in August of 2009.  I think this is a perfect photograph to keep in the pocket of my ripped jeans.  Thank you Lucky for the kind of love that heals the soul.  “It’s the only thing we take with us when we die.”

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Lucky Penney – Family Camping 2009

 

Unsteady

Ooh, Summer.  With all your distractions.  Some Good.  Some Challenging.  Where have I been?  In avoidance?  Or, in A Void Dance?  Probably a little of both. (more on that later).

But today I am in the midst of one of life’s little challenges.  Dealing with the illness of an aging pet. Our Dog showed up in early 2002 as a young pup.  She was found by a neighborhood friend just running along the side of a Chicago city street.  No collar, skinny, sun-faded fur.  She was about 2 months old.  That put her birthdate at about 1-1-2002.  She was adorable, but what would she turn into?  We had no idea of her breed or origins.  Could she be a menacing, agitated fighting dog in a few months?  She sure seemed sweet.

You see, the summer and autumn of 2001 were particularly challenging for our family.  We lost our first dog, Molly to illness at 11 years that July.  I learned much from my relationship with Molly.  She was supposed to be our “practice child” to see if my husband and I were ready for parenthood.  But, I mostly learned from her that you can struggle with the personalily of someone in your life and still really love and miss them when they are gone.  This was an important lesson for me at that time.  She was a “high-strung” border collie/belgian sheepdog mix who liked to bark (a lot) and as we got her a few years before having our children, she always seemed a bit jealous when they came along.  Not really the “family pet”.   Then a few weeks after we said a sad good-bye to our Molly my husband’s grandmother passed away.   And in August the death of my father-in-law was a huge blow to our family.  Followed of course, by the event of September 11th of that year that rocked the reality of the entire nation.  Yes 2001 was a tough year for many (most) of us.

So then that following spring, some brightness and joy bounced into our life.  Was I ready for another puppy?  My kids ages 7 & 9 at the time were ready.  They named her Lucky after a story they had read about a stray dog, but we were truly the lucky ones.  She has been the ideal dog (well if you don’t mind a lot of shedding fur).  She is calm, patient, great with the kids and topped out at 40 pounds, just like we like!   She has been lucky several times over the years too.  Once, when she was young she bounded out of our back gate as my son left it open just a moment too long.  She ran into the street and bounced off the bumper of a passing car.  She was stunned, but nothing more.  And she never did that again!  And 2 1/2 years ago at the end of 2013 we noticed a change in her behavior.  She quit jumping up on the bed, and seemed a bit off.  This again came at a very difficult time for us, just 2 weeks after we lost my mother-in-law to cancer.  A trip to the vet and an x-ray revealed a tumor on her spleen.  We were willing to do whatever we could for our Lucky.  We had the tumor removed, all 5+ pounds of it! (a stitch in time saved!!!)  And she recovered to be as active as she had always been.

I realized today that at 14 1/2 years, sleeping next to my side of the bed, and under my feet everyday, I have spent more of my “life minutes” with her, than with any other being. Probably more than with my husband of almost 29 years.  And now the last couple of weeks she has been struggling to walk up and down our stairs.  She is just not “herself”.  We went to the Vet a few days ago and they gave her an anti-infammatory that seemed to improve her movement, but she has been “up and down” every day this week.  I can’t tell which direction this is going.  And at her age, I’m not sure what to do.  So,  I’ve been bringing her into my work studio the last couple of days with me.  I want to spend as much time as possible with this sweet baby, and I want to watch how she is feeling.  This morning she was in the backseat, trying to lay down for the ride.  As I turned on the radio this song came on the radio.  I believe she was singing it to me.

X Ambassadors:  Unsteady

Hold, hold on, hold onto me
‘Cause I’m a little unsteady
A little unsteady
Hold, hold on, hold onto me
‘Cause I’m a little unsteady
A little unsteady

Mama, come here
Approach, appear
Daddy, I’m alone
‘Cause this house don’t feel like home

If you love me, don’t let go
Whoa, if you love me, don’t let go

Hold, hold on, hold onto me
‘Cause I’m a little unsteady
A little unsteady
Hold, hold on, hold onto me
‘Cause I’m a little unsteady
A little unsteady

Mother, I know
That you’re tired of being alone
Dad, I know you’re trying
To fight when you feel like flying

But if you love me, don’t let go
Whoa, if you love me, don’t let go

Hold, hold on, hold onto me
‘Cause I’m a little unsteady
A little unsteady
Hold, hold on, hold onto me
‘Cause I’m a little unsteady
A little unsteady

Hold, hold on, hold onto me
‘Cause I’m a little unsteady
A little unsteady…..

So for now, I will hold on to you Lucky.  

We are both a little unsteady.

And I’m not ready to Let Go.

My Lucky Dog
My Lucky Dog

Update:  Lucky closed her eyes for her eternal rest on August 20, 2016.  See Lucky.